Let’s face it: online dating has been an issue for as long as I can remember.
Heck, even before the idea of meeting people romantically in the internet space was conceptualized, we guys have had trouble connecting with women, no matter what platform we’re using.
The truth is, most guys have no clue how to approach women online and most of the ladies I know are scared off long before a true interaction has a chance to occur. You need some online dating tips and you need them bad.
Great news! You are now in possession of the only guide you will ever need to not only get massive responses to your online messages but also have women desperately longing to meet you.
This ain’t a hook up guide so if you picked up this article to smash and crash in four easy steps you can hit the “x” at the top right of your window and send this back into cyberspace.
If you are looking to make a real connection and meet gorgeous women online who will be drawn to you like an ant on a sugary cinnamon bun, keep on reading.
You want to know a little dirty secret that will absolutely blow your mind if you haven’t been having success with online dating?
Women who are online actually want you to woo them.
They want you to stop tripping over your own feet, conquer their attention and become the knight in shining armor that has come to save them from the dark and creepy world of shady online dating profiles.
When you find a girl on an online dating site, she is already in an incredibly vulnerable position.
Women aren’t like men: most of them are actually online to find something that will turn into true love.
We guys on the other hand, create a dating profile when we are bored and feeling kinda frisky on a Friday night.
The first thing to becoming a dynamite online dating stallion is understanding the psychology that brings women to the playing field.
Now the fact is, she either created a profile because she is on the rebound from a recent relationship and isn’t use to the current dating scene or she works crazy hours and has no type of social life, or maybe she feels lonely and is starting to badly desire to be in a relationship.
Either way, any scenario that brings her to the online dating arena is one that was enough to drive her out of her comfort zone to create a profile in hopes that someone would fill a void.
She’ll never tell you but behind the fancy hair and makeup in her profile image and the no nonsense commentary in her summary, she secretly wants you to break past all of the barriers charm her senses like crazy.
Whether she admits it or not, the fact that she signed up to be a part of a dating community yields to the fact that she is almost on the fringe of borderline desperation to find a guy worthy of calling her own.
That’s where you come in.
Now, I know you’re a nice gentleman who is fairly attractive and you’re actually looking for a real relationship.
Unfortunately, you are probably not going anywhere in this game because quite frankly: you’re a guy.
One thing I have learned about us male species is that when it comes to love and dating, we are about as clueless as an amish family at a New Year’s Eve celebration in Times Square.
In order to succeed you need an unfair advantage.
Something that other guys don’t have that will catapult you to the top of the ranks.
Let’s be real, you’ve read up until this point because you haven’t been having any success so make the most out of it and actually apply the theories that we will soon discuss.
By the time we’re done your dating profile is going to be getting a lot more views, your inbox will be full and your next girlfriend will soon be on your arm whispering pure sweetness in your ear and giving you the dear companionship you’ve been seeking
The online dating profile is one of the most perplexing social profile pages to build on the web.
The reason why is because it is pure science.
You need to approach this online thing like you are applying for a job, after all you essentially are!
Now your main image is going to be incredibly important because I don’t care what you say: if you ain’t cute, she probably ain’t clicking.
Bear in mind that women press far less importance on looks than their xy counterparts.
It is way more common to see a less attractive male with a blazing bombshell than to see a hunky stallion with
a less attractive woman. It is just the way things are: guys care a whole heck of a lot about looks and for women it is more of an added bonus than a deal breaker
With that in mind, you don’t have to look like a model in a fitness magazine but you absolutely need to put your best foot forward.
Most websites with online dating tips will tell you to be natural and be yourself in your profile image (don’t worry about how you look) which is total ludicrous.
Get a haircut and comb your hair for goodness sakes! Get ready for your profile image like you are actually getting ready for your first date.
Here are some things you certainly MUST DO to ensure your profile image shot is a success and gets the most attention from potential dates:
- Make it a Solo Shot
Make sure that you don’t put up an image with a group of your friends! Make the image an imitate portrait of you and allow her focus to solely rest her eyes and attention on the guy that she is about to be charmed by.
Plus, on a “let’s just be honest” note, you definitely don’t want her becoming physically attracted to your best friend only to be disappointed when she clicks on the image and the other pics are of you. Don’t make the game harder than it has to be, make the profile image one of you and only you.
- Make Sure You Get a Life
We all know that the movie scenes of people doing fun things all day long are fictional and nothing close to the reality of our everyday lives. Dating someone and going out is cool but sometimes life simply consists of lackluster things like: homework, professional projects, doing laundry and taking naps.
With that being said, you still want your profile picture to be as engaging and exciting as possible. Choose a photo that has you doing something fun and exciting (i.e. skydiving). You will immediately seem more attractive when you display positive and contagious energy.
- Be True to Yourself
Ok, so you’re probably thinking, “I don’t skydive or wrestle with alligators so I am doomed to a boring profile image”.
Being exciting doesn’t mean you have to become a daredevil, you just need to get some action shots of you doing something that you love (excitement and energy will naturally exude if you do).
If you play a sport, take a nice shot with a trophy and a ball. If you are a musician, bring your guitar into the picture.
Even if you are a gamer who plays video games all day, take a pic in a tuxedo holding your favorite video game. Be creative! She will definitely thank you for it later.
At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what you like or what you do, as long as you are confident and comfortable with yourself and your hobbies, you’re good to go! Be warm, friendly, inviting, confident and definitely exciting.
Pro-tip: Need a touch up on a photo? Visit Fiverr.com and have a freelancer add some magic to your picture for five bucks!
That little summary under your profile picture is actually more important than your actual image. Believe it or not, women are more attracted to who you are than how you look. Imagine that.
For guys, this reality is so hard to understand because all we freakin’ seem to care about initially are looks. Heck, we’ll even find a gorgeous looking gal and convince ourselves that she’s a great student, professional, homemaker and will be one heck of a mother to our kids one day, all because she’s got a perfect rack and a set of legs that makes your imagination do olympic style somersaults.
For women, what you have to say is much more important.
Ladies love the stuff in this section so pay attention:
- Be detailed but concise
You want to show an interesting side of yourself in a way that creates intrigue and curiosity. You can do this by telling a great story or making fun of yourself in a light-hearted way.
Pick 2-3 things about yourself that you would like to highlight and focus on turning them into a story. There are many online dating profile examples that you can find by browsing online but this guide should really be all you need to make an impactful first impression.
You don’t need to write a novel or get sappy with your feelings, you simply need to tell a little bit about yourself and make her really want to get to know you more. Creating interest and intrigue is the most important part of this equation.
- Be fun but stay true
Try to be as exciting and engaging as possible without coming across as fake or losing your personality. You can make anything exciting: even if you are a chess player who likes to watch local news every night.
- Avoid all situational pressure and just be sweet
Keep this thing as lighthearted as you possibly can. Online dating already has a lot of pressure built-in and everyone is trying to put their best foot forward so just try to come off as relaxed as humanly possible. She will definitely thank you for it later.
Here is one of my favorite online dating profile examples that I once used to captivate attention. Notice how I told all potential partners where I am from, what I enjoy doing and what my life goals are without blatantly stating either:
Music is definitely the melody of the soul. I remember growing up as a kid in the city of Chicago and listening to the jazz players tear up the Honey Lounge that was down the street from our small cozy apartment. Inspired by a few of the local icons, I decided to become a musician and have been playing the guitar ever since!
The artistic field has never been an easy one to conquer so I am working as a bartender in the meantime while taking night classes at the local college in Web Graphic Design. I figure if I can’t make it as a musician, I’ll create a website with all of my composed hits:)
My busy schedule keeps me indoors most of the time, with my head in the books or on a pillow just resting to make it to work in the morning. I’d love to meet an honest, intelligent and down to earth sweetheart that would be my partner through this incredibly blessed journey I’m traveling.
Hope to meet you soon.
Wrapping everything into a story is a great way to introduce yourself with class and a refreshing point of view.
Notice how I also mentioned the fact that I am looking for a partner last and in nonchalant fashion.
Avoid looking desperate and act casual about the fact that you are really here looking for a prospective mate (It’s a dating site so she already knows you’re kinda single).
Sending the First Message
An online dating first message is probably the most important part of the equation. I like to compare sending the first message to submitting a job application. Like most applications out there, you probably did some research on the company, made sure your resume was on point and relevant, but now comes the moment of truth because you know that all the preparation in the world means nothing if you don’t get that callback for an interview. The online dating first message is essentially your pitch. When you get a reply to your message, she is inviting you to interview for the position and from there, it’s basically your game to lose so make sure you don’t screw it up!
Let’s break down the anatomy of an amazingly effective first message:
You need a warm welcome and some positive energy to start the process. Remember, energy is contagious so if you come off dry and boring, she is going to feel that and will not reply unless she is utterly desperate, which if she is fairly attractive, is probably getting 20-30 messages a day from other guys anyway.
Now don’t overthink the greeting;
Try one of these for starters:
Never go with:
My name is (this isn’t a formal introduction)
How are you doing? (umm, she’s fine…)
Starting out with a simple Hi is much too boring and will tremendously bring down your response rate. You also never want to give out your name too early because it comes off too formal. I’ll show you how to seamlessly toss your name into the message so that it comes off as cool and natural as possible.
Once you’ve set the tone with some good energy you’ve got 2-3 lines to get her attention and THAT’S IT.
If you ruin it early, you’ve already failed.
You can go one of two ways: compliment a hobby or make a light joke about a common interest.
Keep the attention off her and focus on the things that she has mentioned in her profile.
This does two things:
- It shows that you’re not a hormone infused imbecile who is writing her to smash and crash
- Highlights the rare trait that you have of reading and paying attention to detail, particularly the things she probably spent quite a bit of time writing about in her profile.
You want to be as detailed as possible to show that you are paying close attention but as concise as you need to be so that you don’t go off rambling like an idiot.
Once you’ve done this, close the message by asking a question that ties directly to the thing that you noticed in her profile and close by saying something general and sweet like;
“Have a nice day” or “I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend”.
Finish it by tucking in your name at the bottom and we’re off!
I recently found a young lady online who was twenty-two and finishing up her college studies. She mentioned that becoming a Physician’s Assistant was her dream and that she was currently getting patient care hours in order to apply for admission into the program.
Single, 5’3”, slim “athletic” build
Looking for: single men, ages 23-27, for long-term dating only and new friends
Hi ya’ll! I am a down-to-earth southern belle looking for my prince charming:) I am pretty new to this site and honestly, I feel pretty awkward stepping outside of my comfort zone by creating this profile but, hey, let’s give this a shot…
Please do not message me if you are a player, looking for a one-nighter or just looking for something that is not so serious. I am actually hoping to find my future spouse at this point in my life and hopefully this is a positive first step.
I go to school right now, finishing up my undergrad studies while working full-time and planning to apply for PA school in the Fall.
Msg me if you’re interested in learning more about me!
I jumped at the chance to show interest in her career choice and make an impression.
You can find many online dating message examples on the web but I am going to show you the most effective way to create intrigue and get a response. Check this one out:
I really like that you are volunteering at our local hospital to get your patient care hours to apply for entry into a Physician’s Assistant program.
I wanted to be a doctor when I was younger but realized I sucked at chemistry:)
I ended up studying architecture instead and got a great job so everything worked out fine.
What PA programs are you hoping to get accepted to?
Looking forward to your reply.
Notice how I put the spotlight completely on her and her aspirations?
I didn’t mention how gorgeous she was or how I wanted to kiss her succulent lips (like most idiots do), but I simply focused on her interests and asked her a question about her goals to ensure I get a response.
Online dating questions should be concise and to the point. Notice how I keep everything direct and moving towards the close of the message.
Online dating questions also should be kept to a minimum of one follow-up question per message. Make sure you don’t stack questions to confuse the wits out of her, just keep it simple sonny.
Now as long as Ashley thinks I am cute enough, I should definitely get an answer to my questions.
Make sure you focus on her interests and stay away from giving physical compliments on the first note because believe it or not, most women find that incredibly creepy and unattractive.
Now all you have to do is wait for a reply.
If you have done these things well, you should be getting some pretty great responses.
Be sure to leave me comments and let me know of your successes, or miserable fails, and I will do my best to help you figure out where you have gone wrong.
With these online dating tips you should be ready to rock the online dating scene in full effect.